I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
