You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
