i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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