Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
