Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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