Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
