Kiss
Puke
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
