McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
