I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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