I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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