Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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