I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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