Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
