So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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