I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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