is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
