WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
