my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
