i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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