I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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