goodnight i made you a song goodbye
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
