whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
