Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we should paint friendship bongs
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