Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
