I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
