i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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