my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he thought i was a dude.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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