I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
