So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Four minutes until I can fart!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
