what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
