You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
do herpes really smell.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
