so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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