true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
