Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
