you would pick up someone in the library
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
