He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
3 2 1 whiskey
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
