He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
