We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
