fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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