He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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