Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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