I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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