we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
