nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
