North Korea, Best Korea!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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