This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
