tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
