i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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