Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Randomize
