You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
