Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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