would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My liver just had a heart attack.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
