Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
did i just pee glitter
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
