the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
