Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize