when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His nipple licking is glorious
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize