she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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