Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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