he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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