Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
