Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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