She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
