I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You dont lie about slip and slides
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
