you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
