she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
